COMMITMENT TO OUR CHILDREN

The current spate of legislation entrenching transgender desires into law will continue to increase the plight of children born to such indeterminate relationships. But for those of us in traditional marriages, raising children is no easy matter either. But they have a good start with the created value of a mother and father. Some simple steps we can all take can enhance this ideal.

First, don’t try to bring up good children! That is beyond our ability and mandate. In the end, children will make their own decisions, either because of us or in spite of us. Instead, we should decide we are going to be good parents—not easy, but largely an achievable goal.

While some adult children will blame their personal faults and inabilities on their parents, most will recognize their parents were also imperfect. Besides, if we can blame our parents, then they can blame their parents, all the way back to Adam and Eve! Then none of us has any personal responsibility.

Second, if we are Christians, it is essential that we take our faith seriously. I fervently believe Christian ideals and teaching are the basis for a productive and joyful life, just as they have been the bedrock until recently for western civilization. Children may not follow our instruction, but they will certainly reject superficial lip service to our faith. If our faith is not the formative basis for our lives, why should they accept it?

Third, there is another, less tangible, benefit to our children for maintaining an ardent faith in Jesus Christ. Whatever path our children will follow, God will remain with them because of our allegiance to God. Solomon fell away from his faith in God, but God’s response waited until after his death for the sake of David his father, 1 Kings 11:9–13.

In fact, the nation of Judah benefitted from David’s faithfulness long after Solomon’s death, despite the evil practices of subsequent kings, 2 Kings 8:16–19. Even the Ten Commandments, which provide for punishment to the third generation of those who follow their own personal idolatries, bless a thousand generations descending from those who love and follow Him.

And, of course, the blessing on the children for the faithfulness of their parents, will affect the nation they live in. The current slide from respect for God into chaos in western civilization may not yet be feeling the full effects of its insanity, because of God’s patience based on the faith of its forbears. So for our children and our nation, let’s retain a passionate belief and practice of our faith.

“Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful,” (Steve Green)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eERKnxzNzwg

MAINTAINING OUR MARRIAGE

 I mentioned in a previous blog that we live in a self-absorbed culture. But the culture is the sum of individual desires, and any cultural change must start with me. Today, I want to share with you three imperatives Ann and I consider necessary to maintain our marriage.

First, I’m sure you’ve noticed we are all different, as different in personality as we are in looks. Ann and I are probably the ultimate example that, like poles of a magnet, opposites attract each other. Of course, common interests, common beliefs, shared pursuits and desires, all aided in making us one.

But the differences that attract us to each other can eventually exasperate us because we each do things differently. Then I may try to make Ann over into my own image. If successful, the difference that attracted me fades, the source of excitement is lost, and I may venture elsewhere to fill the void. 

The disordered way in which Ann loads the dishwasher—compared, of course, with my efficient arrangement—is not the time for irritation and rebuke. No, it’s a time to rejoice that the vitality I first admired is still in the house and relish that happy incompatibility. 

Second, our culture of easy divorce promotes lack of commitment. It encourages the attitude: “If it doesn’t work for me, I can always leave.” At the first sign of trouble, it’s too easy to consider the marriage has failed and bail out. 

But an old adage tells us: “A ship’s captain doesn’t learn his craft on a calm sea.” We enjoy the green pastures and still waters God provides that nurtures our love. But Scripture encourages us to consider it “pure joy, whenever you face trials of many kinds.” 

Marriage is not built holding hands on a glassy sea. It is the perseverance through the storms that erupt upon it that deepens and matures our marriage, and forges the bond that will last a lifetime. Conflict exposes our readiness to sacrifice for the one we love. Joy is the outcome of conflict, for happiness is the by-product of service. 

Third, my devotion to Ann measures my devotion to God, for the first purpose of marriage is to reflect God’s faithfulness to His own. How I serve her betrays what I really believe about Christ’s sacrifice for me. So Paul admonishes us: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

Now, practicing this belief not only strengthens marriage, but fervency of faith is also the greatest legacy we can pass to our children. Families generally proliferate and bring joy beyond imagination. Children and grandchildren will learn the reality of God’s love and grace as we joyfully persist in our intimacy with God. 

That is necessary, not optional, if we wish to draw our children to faith in God. Even after 61 years of marriage. Our prayer remains: “May those who come behind us find us faithful.” 

 

Some of this material is adapted from our book, Happy Together: Daily Insights for Families From Scripture, obtainable from Amazon or directly from us at www.pebblepress.ca